JD's Birth Story

"Let's just go have a baby today...," were the words of my doctor on August 17, 2011.

What she meant was:  repeat c-section.

I was really praying I'd be able to have a VBAC.  Something inside this woman thought it would be an accomplishment to join the generations of women that have preceded her in the realm of classic-child-bearing.  I wanted to know what it was like.  Experience it.  Have one last major role in bringing another life into this world.  To be "normal."

I know.  I know.  I hear you asking, "but what's really normal?"

It's safe to say that there is no normal birth-story.  All are unique.  All are meaningful.

----

On the morning of August 17, 2011, I was still pregnant.  And this made me depressed.  I was hoping to have had a baby by then.  Most of the pregnant women I knew that had due dates after me had already had their babies.  And not via a c-section.  And, I had given birth to Annaleigh the day before her due date.  And, I was MOST uncomfortable at that point.  I just want this baby OUT! were my daily (actually, my moment by moment) thoughts.

I arrive at my doctor's office for an ultrasound, prior to meeting with my doctor.  To assess the baby's health.

Results?  Our son was floating around in a "low-normal-fluid" level.  As well as calcium being present on the placenta.   She also discovered I was not "progressing".  No dilation or change.  At.  All.   Nothing too alarming, according to the doctor, but enough to make her question my ability to go into labor on my own within the week.  And that, to her, was the risk.  She had no desire to induce me, seeing as I had a previous c-sec, and would most likely will end up in labor for 2 days, and then end with another c-sec, despite it all.

"Let's just go have a baby today...," she says, "I'll call the hospital and tell them you are coming.  It'll better this way."

I look toward my husband through tear filled eyes and he knows what I'm asking.  As if we have a secret-sort of non-verbal-language.  I look at him again and he knows the fear in my heart.  And he nods his head in approval.

I trust my doctor with my life.  I trust my husband even more.

So I reluctantly succumb to the divine-providential circumstances.  Trusting the Lord more than any of it.  Knowing, full well, that this is His plan.

Long story, short:  I ended up having another c-section.  But this time it was different.  It was BETTER than the first!

I walked into the operation room.

No complications, at all.

I was awake.

I heard my baby's first cry.

I witnessed my son's birth.

I was able to kiss him almost immediately.

My husband sat by me, supporting me.

We were able to get pictures of our son's arrival.

I didn't have as many drugs pumped through my body.

I was walking by 8 o'clock the next morning.

I was in the shower by 10AM.

I was able to wear my own clothes.

Visitors were allowed (I had Annaleigh during the Swine-Flu Season = no visitors).

And much, much more!

All that to say:

I am blessed beyond measure!

I am still sorta sad I didn't get to experience a VBAC.  And I'm sure I'll always be.  But that feeling is shadowed by the brilliant glare of JOY pouring from my heart.  My son, John David, is a perfect and healthy little baby boy.  I am wonderfully healthy.  I have an amazing husband and a sweet daughter.  I really couldn't ask for more...

...well, maybe just one more.  {wink, wink}

i'm in love with a new man

John David Weston

Born:  August 17, 2011

7 lbs 9 oz

19-1/2 inches

Please pardon my recent hiatus.  I'm sure you'll forgive me.  You see, I've been busy hugging, kissing, and snuggling the new little man in my life.  So has Mike and Annaleigh.  We're just tickled...blue.  

I'll be back as soon as I can to fill you all in on the wonderful details of his arrival into our lives...

this may be the last...

...preggers picture I take this pregnancy.

yippee!

39 weeks

It may be the last week I get to be a part of a family of three.

Or the last moments I get to spend with my sweet little Annaleigh...just us girls.

The only thing I'm waiting on is my little man.  

Everything else is ready! Nesting has slowed {because my energy has done the same}, bags are packed, in-laws have arrived, gifts for my doctor and the nurses are completed, our gift for Annaleigh is wrapped and ready to go, my out-of-the-home responsibilities have been transferred to other suckers people, and Mike won't have to work his 2nd job for 2 weeks.  So, like I said, we're just waiting for John David!

I simply can't wait to hold our son in my arms.  To have another little baby.  To watch him grow.  To pray for his salvation and pray that his life will glorify God!

What a gift.  What a treasure.  What an adventure that is to come!

One week to go!  The countdown begins...

{well, it actually began a long, long, time ago...but it's nice that I won't have to count for that much longer...}

Side note:  Now that I think about it...we still need to put in JDs car seat!  whoops....add that to the list...

five minute friday: whole

GO.

I don't have a whole lot of time.  Not because of the timer I have sitting next to me.  But because my daughter just went down for her nap.  And I've been dreaming of a nap for the past week.  You see, I'm a whole 38 weeks preggers and this nesting thing has got a hold of me big time.  So I haven't had a whole lot of time to "rest" like they tell me to.

And I'm not patient with this whole pregnant-thing anymore.  I want to have my baby.  And it seems I've been doing a whole lot of complaining, too.  I'm pretty sure it's annoying to whole lot of people.  To hear me complain.  Again.  And again.  And....again.

But it is what it is.

Oh, and one more thing.  I want my whole body back to myself.  I'm tired of sharing it.  Please and thank you very much.

STOP.

Linked up (for my first time!) to:

What is 5 minute Friday?Let your words and your story breathe today. Take five minutes and just write without criticizing your words, yourself or your story. Just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

1. Write your words without editing them.
2. Tell your readers you’re linking up here and invite them to come and share their unedited stories too.
3. And most importantly, go visit, read, and compliment the person who shared right before you.

Easy peasy. OK, are you ready?  It's your turn now.  Show us what you've got!

embrace the camera: august 4th

See my feet??  I was there, too, I promise!

On a recent Saturday, our family headed to the park for a picnic lunch.  

It was a hot day, but felt perfect once you found some shade.

I'm thankful for a camera with a 10-second timer so we could get a family shot.

Half-way through our lunch, we were met by an unexpected guest.

We shared our chips, of course.  One can't be rude, now can they?

Annaleigh and Mike were thrilled to have the extra company.

I, on the other hand, was glad to see him go.  He was much, much, too friendly for my taste.

38 weeks down, 2 more to go!

I thought I was the fun and crazy one in this family.
Either Mike was this way all along, and just had us all fooled,
or, I {me and my antics} have rubbed off on him.

Because he thinks it's funny to continue to snap shots, repeatedly, until I forcefully retrieve the camera from his over-zealous hands.  {I think he likes to pretend he's a cliché photographer, who snaps and snaps and snaps away!}  Hence the reason for the impromptu posing {and the clenched fists} in the last three pictures.

So {deep breath in...and letting it slowly out...} I'm 38 weeks today.  But it feels like 40.
Every. single. tiny. thing. wears me out!  I remember being tired, impatient, uncomfortable, and down-right miserable at the end of my last pregnancy.  And how could I forget the 2 weeks of non-stop "false" labor.  But this time, the difference is, I have a 20-month-old to chase around!  I can't keep up!  Be a doll and pray for me, would ya?

My current stats:

Weight: 

137.5 lbs.

Total weigh gain to date:

20.5 lbs.

John David's Estimated Size:

A little more than 6 pounds (think:  watermelon)

Blood pressure: 

Still perfect.  NO signs of preeclamsia yet! Praise the Lord!

Belly size: 

Right on target.

Baby's heartbeat: 

Perfect and strong.

Swollen feet/ankles? 

Yes.  Everyday.

Effacement or Dilation? 

Nope.  Nada.  Nothing.  Zilch.

Heartburn? 

Yes, mostly after eating something with high acidity, when laying down OR when John David decides to work out on his treadmill.  

Sleep? 

Hardly, due to the consistently inconsistent Braxton Hicks.

Back ache? 

And leg aches, stomach-muscle aches, feet aches, upper body aches...heck, it all aches...

Night time potty breaks: 

I average about 2.

Tired? 

It's better to say "beyond(!) exhausted".

Getting off the couch my own? 

With great difficulty.

Most effective way to get out of bed? 

Rolling out of it.

The way I switch from side to side while lying in bed: 

What is a 16-point turn, Alex?

Belly touching steering wheel? 

Oh, yes! And using my big toe to push the gas/brake.

Hospital bag packed? 

Yes.  Because I'm ready to go!!  I want to go!!  Please, please pick me to go!!! Can we just go now?!

Cravings?  

Ice cream (but I don't think that's a pregnancy thing!) Chocolate milk (actually, anything chocolate). And cereal. 

One thing I miss about pre-preggo life: 

Being able to function and accomplish every day tasks without losing my breath.  I just want to feel "normal" again!

Until next time....

...maybe I'll have a baby by then?!  

Probably not.  

But it never hurts to dream!  

And you wouldn't want to be the one responsible to crush a girl's dreams, now would you??  

So let me have my delusions, mmm-kay?

i don't blog about her much

because honestly?

If you know one cat,

you pretty much know them all.

The only thing special about Sadie-cat is that

she's ours.
And that she's so darn pretty.

In other unrelated news,

I'll be spending the day with my cousin Sharon.

We'll be sewing curtains.

For a baby's room.

Her daughter-in-law is due around the same time as me.

And she's having a boy, too.

So my nesting-skills of sewing should come in handy.

Her grand-baby doesn't have a clue that he's going to have
the. best. curtains. ever.
hanging in his room.

*** ***

At 37 weeks,

I'm getting a good amount of Braxton Hicks.

They are a terrible tease.

Because I want to have this baby.

Like. right. now.

*** ***

And I totally want to make this for Annaleigh.

Wouldn't it be the perfect gift to give to her at the hospital once John David's born?
I think so, anyway.

*** ***
Happy Friday!

it didn't survive the cut

Not that you care.

About my toes.

Or how I decorate them.

But you're gonna hear about it anyway.

Today is a desperately sad day for me.

Well, maybe only 2/3rds sad.

Since the age of 12, my family had vacationed for 2 weeks, every July, every year (2005 was our last year) in the same basic spot, in a rented beach house (with direct beach access - meaning:  you step out the back door and onto beach sand) in Salisbury, MA.

Conveniently, one of the best boardwalks in New England existed only a short (or long, depending on traffic) 5 minute drive across the border into New Hampshire.  Hampton Beach, to be exact.

At age 18, I discovered a new little shop where they provided fitted toe rings.  That's right, fitted.  You'd pick out your toe ring of choice and then they'd use soapy water to squeeze the gorgeous-little thing onto one of your cute little toes.  After a few moments of squinting your eyes through the mildly uncomfortable procedure, you were adorned with a toe ring completely customized to the exact size of your toe.  Making it completely comfortable.  Don't you just HATE how the ones from Walmart pinch the back of your toe when in a shoe...or walking, for that matter?!  I couldn't even feel it when I wore my figure skates - which, by the way, were ROCK solid and FORMED to my feet.  (I was a former competitive figure skater for 9 years...but that's another story.)

Over the years, I accumulated 4 of those toe rings, one at a time.  I've only taken them off {with difficulty} a few times in my life.  Mostly, to switch them around from toe to toe, or to stack them so they look like one thick toe ring.  The other time was when I was preggers with Annaleigh.  My toes began to swell up.  Although, the rings remained comfortable, I knew that if, God forbid, I'd need a c-section (which most of us know I did) they'd cut them off prior to surgery.  And {gasp} what horror that would be!  The cutting of the toe rings, that is.

Being preggers with #2, my toes are swelling up again.  So, to again avoid such possible horror, I attempted to lube them up and yank them off.  With difficulty...and more difficulty...and pulling, tugging, begging, pleading, waiting until the morning to see if they'd come off, running my toes under iced cold water...more lube, more difficulty and then?  Realizing that I must do the unthinkable.  The unimaginable.  The horror!!  {cue: a girl screaming in the background...wait, that's me...}

They need to be cut.  off.

Why do it?  You ask?  Why not just keep them on since you may not need a c-section this time?  Because, if I do (and we know that it's a high possibility) then I want to control the when, the where.  These are small treasures of memories here, people!  I'm not going to lend their fate to some stranger!  And honestly, if I can't get them off now...will I ever?  And if my feet continue to grow in water-size, that just may be bad news for my toe.  And I think I prefer the cutting of a ring rather than the cutting of my toe.  Just a thought.

GOOD NEWS, though!  I did manage to save ONE of the toe rings.  It was just large enough to squeeze off.  wahoo!  Meaning?  That bad boy is headed right back on after John David makes his debut!  It also means that I can currently feel my heartbeat in my toe....

Plus, it's a good excuse to head on back to one of my favorite beaches, someday, to see if the little shop still exists.  And get MORE!  If not, then for the fried dough, french fries, soft-serve ice cream, photo-booths, skee-ball, arcade games, shopping for shell-covered vases, sand, sun, ocean breeze.....because, really....

"Any reason is a good reason to go to the beach." 

(quoted from yours truly, a natural born beach-bum)

before

after

My poor toe feels so naked now....

a piece of cake

I just finished decorating this cake for a friend.

And now?

It's nap-time for this {36 week} preggo-mama.

Stick a fork in me,

because I'm done.

35 weeks

The Baby:  It's still a boy!  (We've got more pictures to prove it from the high-risk ultrasound appointment today...)  He's weighing in at approximately 5 lbs. 13 oz. so far.  Which is equivalent to a honey-dew melon...so they say.  The high-risk doctor predicts he'll weigh in around 7 lbs. at birth...but the doctor explained that we shouldn't hold him to it.  "It's not a promise," he said.   John David is facing head down already.  Which makes sense, seeing as I feel him regularly tap-dancing on my ribs.  All in all, he's right on track and completely healthy with all his little parts working like clockwork!

Me:  My ankles have been swelling in the evenings.  Today, I was informed that it's not a concern and most likely due to the heat we've been experiencing here in NEPA.  My back hurts, my hips hurt and my belly is heavy.  I'm always hot --like on fire(!)-- even when our A/C is kept on 60 degrees for most of the day.  I can't eat big meals, in spite of my ravenous appetite, because my stomach is currently being squished by imp #2.  I no longer rest at night due to being unable to find a comfy, cozy position into which I can nestle AND the infamous midnight (1AM, 3AM...) potty breaks.  There also feels like there's not much blood circulating to my legs because walking is a chore.  Meaning:  my legs get tired just thinking about walking.  And to top it off, I've accumulated the classic-preggers-waddle, which throws everything off balance.  Needless to say, I prefer to sit.  And veg.  And do nothing at all.

Annaleigh:  She now has come to call all bellies:  "baby".  Meaning:  she hasn't a clue.  But what she does know for sure is that my huge belly prevents her from getting comfortable on my lap.  And it frustrates her.  She also knows that her Mommy has become quite a lazy bum.  Which, again, frustrates her.  However, her most recent discovery about Mommy has tickled her pink:  she's able to out-run me.  Then I get frustrated.  And completely unrelated to Mommy's growing waistline, is the fact that she has entered her "toddler-phase".  Yet again, frustrating....

Mike:  He's excited about the idea of being a daddy to a boy.  He is frantically roaming the internet for the perfect Nike-wear in all his favorite teams.  His form of nesting is preparing to brain-wash.  And I think it's cute.  He also rubs and kisses my belly and reminds John David to play nice and not cause Mommy anymore pain (I swear he's ready to bust out the top of my belly one of these days!).  What he doesn't look forward to is the sleepless nights and the incessant crying.  I don't blame him.  Neither do I.

Bottom Line: I can't wait to meet my little man!  I want to hold him.  Smell him.  Kiss him.  Snuggle him.  Love on him.  I'm excited beyond words!!  I want to simply be done with this pregnancy.  I cannot wait to become a happy little family of FOUR...

A picture of John David's ribs.  No good profile pics of his sweet face, seeing as his head is located...well...quite low.

sleep won the coin toss

Accessorizing with the metal rack that is used with my Pampered Chef pizza stone.

Usually I blog while my darling little imp takes her nap.

However, my energy seems to be waning with each passing day.

{preggo-ness is not easy, my friends}

So, I'm going to go down for a little nap myself.

Until tomorrow... 

nesting

It's what I've been busy doing today.

Not sure if it's too early for that or not {I'm 33 weeks today}.

Either way, I'm feeling strong urges to clean out my closets, organize the rooms in my house, and kick things up into the attic that are wasting prime real estate around here.

Meaning?  I've got nothing for you today.  {I mean:  I have tons and tons of things I want to blog about...but I don't have the time to formulate them into complete and coherent thoughts...}

So for now, here's some cute pictures of my sweet little girl and my darling husband playing video games...

32 weeks and a little perspective

It's the truth.
John David feels as if he weighs 16 tons.
At least that what my back, sciatica-nerve, feet and stomach muscles are telling me.
It doesn't help that he never. stops. moving.  When he does, I get nervous.  And then he goes right back to beating me up inside.  Phew.  


Also, all my energy is concentrated into the hours before noon.  Once lunch-time comes around, I'm pretty useless.    I can't breath, walk, or climb the 16 stairs (oh, yes, I've counted...what else do I have to do with my time while illegally loitering on those things?) in order to get to the bathroom.  So if I've got anything important to do, it needs to be scheduled prior to 11:59 AM.  Otherwise, I'm in a daze, sitting on the couch, watching DVD after DVD of Elmo's world with my daughter (a parenting-pattern I'm not proud of, but what's an exhausted 32 week preggers to do??)

My husband pointed out I've become quite the complainer in the past month (in spite of my current clean bill of health - yaye(!) for good reports from my OB - still NO preeclamsia).  And I recognize this all too well.  The funny thing is, I don't actually tell him about all the discomforts I am actually feeling in a day (for fear of becoming a "Debbie-Downer").  But it looks like I've hit that persona out of the park.

I had a good friend of mine put this all into perspective for me while we ate muffins and drank coffee at Panera Bread one Saturday morning (oh yea! girly-time without boys or babies!)...

"9 months of discomfort would be worth it

for those who experience 

years of emotional pain 

because they can't conceive at all."

Even not knowing what it's like to deeply yearn for the offspring I'll never produce, 

I would have to agree, 

wholeheartedly.

So does John David still feel like 16 tons?  

Yupper.  

But it's an emotional relief I'll never fully appreciate.  

And for that, I am not complaining.

i want to go back to bed

It's just been one of those days.