usually...

...I write my blog-post during the kiddos' nap-time.

But not today.

Today the nap-time slot will be filled up with showering, primping, and taking my time to smell good.

Because I've got a date with the Mr.

And considering he's been bogged down with work and writing seminary papers...

I can't wait.

i'm irritated with you

The Lord has really been challenging me lately.  He has been teaching me a lot about my role as a wife and mother through many sources, avenues, books, and people.  And that would be the reason for my lack of consistency on this here blog.

I love writing.  There's something about getting your thoughts down in black and white.  To see them materialize before your eyes.  To understand, more clearly, what goes on inside.  To be honest with yourself.  To prove {or disprove} your sanity.  To inspire others.    

However, I don't love it more than my husband.  Or my children.

And I've found myself becoming irritated when I cannot get to my blogger dashboard.  I become consumed by blogging titles, subjects and content.  Or, if I'm already there, I become annoyed with the endless interruptions due to their endless needs.  

But are their 'endless needs' the problem?

The thought came to me the other day: 

When I focus on my family as my main ministry to the Lord, 
they no longer interfere with my to-do list, but BECOME my to-do list.

To answer the question:  no.

It's my priorities that are my problem.

They aren't making the top of my list.  And they should be.  THEY are my ministry which God has given me to fulfill.  And if I fail to fulfill those God-given roles...I've failed completely.

And if you've read any good portion of this blog, you'll soon realize I'm a {recovering} perfectionist.  Failure is not an option.

My home should be a haven.  And if I'm not expending most of  my energy and resources to provide that for my family, then what is the point of my life.  What's the point of this blog if I'm not actively engaged in enjoying the harvest?

It begins with me.  My thoughts.  And seeing those thoughts here, materialized, I can be completely honest with you.  Blogging needs to take a back seat.  I'll get to it when I can.  But from this moment on, I'll be obsessing over them. 

I'll see you around soon.  Because right now, I'm feeling irritated by this blog.  

There's a little person that needs some tending to....I can hear a sweet little voice, calling Mommy...and she needs me...

18 ways a wife may be the glory of her husband

1. Ask your husband, "What are your goals for the week?"
2. Ask your husband, "How can I help you to accomplish these goals?"
3. Ask your husband, "Is there anything I can do differently that would make it easier for you?"
4. Be organized with cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry and cooking.  As you fulfill your God-given responsibilities, your husband is then free to do his work.
5. Save some of your energy everyday for him.
6. Put him first over the children, your parents, friends, jobs, ladies' Bible studies, etc.
7. Willingly and cheerfully rearrange your schedule for him when necessary.
8. Talk about him in a positive light to others.  Do not slander him at all, even if what you are saying is true.
9. Do whatever you can to make him look good, to accomplish his goals.  Some examples are offer to run errands for him, organize your day to be available to help him with projects, pray for him and make good suggestions.  Give him the freedom not to use your suggestion, and do not be offended if he does not follow it.
10. Consider his work (job, goals, hobbies, work for the Lord) as more important than your own.
11. Think of specific ways that you can help him accomplish his goals.  Examples are get up early in the mornings to help him get off to work having had a good breakfast, take care in recording telephone messages for him, anticipate any needs he may have in order to attain a specific goal, and keep careful records of money spent to keep up with the budget.
12. Consider the things that you are involved in.  How do they glorify your husband (1 Corinthians 11:7-9)? Ask his guidance.
13. Be warm and gracious to his family and friends.  Make your commitment to him obvious to them.
14. Do and say things that build him up instead of tear him down.
15. Dress and apply your makeup in an attractive manner that is pleasing to your husband.
16. When your husband sins, reprove him privately and gently, always giving him hope and pointing him to the Lord.
17. Encourage him to use his spiritual gifts in ministry.
18. Realize that just as God is glorified when man obeys Him, your husband is glorified when you obey your husband.

The question always comes up, what if your husband is not a Christian?  What if he is not glorifying the Lord?  I'm reminded of a story that my grandmother told me once about her parents.  They were born around the time of the Civil War.  Apparently, her mother was a Christian and her father was not.  Reflecting back, my grandmother told how her mother always wanted to please him.  In order to please her husband, she was gentle and kind, and cooperated in all of the many relocation moves they had made.  Her usual answer when he requested something was, "Yes, Dad."  She did not complain or grumble.  She seemed to go gladly along with him in his plans.  Even when she differed, she still respectfully supported him.  I asked my grandmother, "How did your father treat your mother?" and she said, "He adored her."  Well, my great-grandfather may not have glorified Christ but my great-grandmother did by magnifying her husband, by living  out the role that God intended for her.  A special blessing for her was how her husband treated her and loved her.  You see, a Christian woman can do the right thing and fulfill her God-given role regardless of whether her husband fulfills his or not.

-Martha Peace, The Excellent Woman, pgs 55-56

my fourth finger

"Tertullian alludes to the ancient custom of wearing a gold ring on the fourth finger because it was believed that a vein ran from that finger directly to the heart.  A woman was allowed to wear gold only there, in promise of marriage.  In the medieval service the wedding ring was placed on the first thumb, 'in the name of the Father,' then on the index finger, 'in the name of the Son,' on the third finger, 'in the name of the Holy Ghost,' and on the fourth finger with the Amen.

When the wedding ring is put on your finger you will have finally sealed your choice.  It is this man, and this one alone, whom you have chosen for 'as long as you both shall live'...It is a vow you are making before God and before witnesses, a vow you will by God's grace keep, which does not depend upon your moods or feelings or 'how things turn out.'  As others have said, love does not preserve marriage, the marriage preserves love."

-Elisabeth Elliot, Let Me Be a Woman

My dearest Michael,

Today was the day of our wedding rehearsal.  I was beyond excited that day.  Not simply because we were about to have catered BBQ chicken, from the Bugaboo Creek Steakhouse, during the rehearsal dinner, but I was less than 24 hours away from being declared your wife before God and our family and friends.

Tomorrow marks the day when our dream became a reality.  Our dream of, someday, finding the person that God had specifically designed for each other.  The person we would walk this earth with until we met our Savior.  The person who would help create a team in which to glorify God.  6 years later, by the grace and strength of God, that dream is still alive.

In fact, my love for you, Michael, has grown deeper with each passing day.  But it didn't just "happen" that way.  I believe we have done well to fight for what God has brought together.  It is only because our love for the Savior, independently and purposefully, has continued to grow and strenghten.  And dare I say, in spite of struggles, it's grown beyond expectation?

To tell me 7 years ago, that the handsome(!) guy I saw standing in the cafeteria, as I opened milk upon milk for my 4 year old students, would one day be my best friend, lover, exhorter, and father of my children, I would have laughed.  At that time, I in no way, felt I deserved such a life.  And yet, here we are.  Side by side.  Living a life that some people can only dream about.

I know I've said it to you a hundred times before, but I'm going to say it to you again: I can not thank God enough for you.  But I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying.  And I pray, with every fiber of my being, that the next 6 years, 12, 18, 100 years will become even more sweet than it is today.

Michael, you are my gift from heaven.  I love you.  Yesterday.  Today.  Forever.

Happy 6th Anniversary, Babe.

Your devoted wife,
Michelle

P.S.  Super tomorrow?

my husband rocks

Mike holding our daughter, Annaleigh, for the first time.

"God has forgiven you.  How am I any better than God?"

Those were the words spoken to me, by my boyfriend, after I shared with him the most heartbreaking news a girl could ever unfold to the man she loved.

Most of my college days were filled with poor personal decisions.  Ironic, huh?  You go to college to get smarter, and I wind up finding the stupidest things to get involved in.  I lived carelessly.  Without regard.  And I thought I had found the key to happiness.  Or so I thought.

It took some time {oh boy, was I stubborn} but eventually the Lord grabbed a hold of my heart and helped my eyes to see the calamity of my ways.  By His grace, my senior year of college, I rededicated my life to Christ. 

About a year and a half later, I met a man {gee, I wonder who this could be...hmmm?} who was not only handsome, funny, charming, sweet, kind, adorable, and smart, but His heart, mind and soul were sold out to God.  Literally, sold out.

Growing up, the only man I ever knew {that could even compare} was my step-father.  Bob (or B-O-B, as I affectionately call him), is a man of God.  His every breath is to serve his Savior.  So, in a way, to see another man love God and want to serve Him wholeheartedly was, to me, a foreign concept.

As I got to know Michael, I soon realized his entire life was the anti-thesis of mine.  I went to prom.  He chose not to go to prom.  I found my way into trouble.  He avoided trouble.  I was outwardly {and forcefully} defiant towards my parents.  He, not so much.  I didn't know what youth group was.  He thrived on his youth group {his youth pastor being one of his greatest influences}.  I went to a state college.  He attended Christian college.  I rebelliously broke all the rules.  He followed them.   

I could go on...but you get my point.

How could he ever learn to love me?, I'd wonder.  I'm so tainted.  

But that would be why my husband rocks:  

He is, simply, a man after God's own heart. 

He is my example, here on earth, of the grace of God. 

I am deeply in love with my husband, Michael.  He is unlike anyone I've ever met.  He challenges me to become a better person in Christ.  He encourages me to live out my faith.  He shows me my worth. In his arms I am cherished.  When he embraces me, I feel loved.  And untainted.  

Happy Father's Day, Sweetheart.

You're perfect.

For me.

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we stand alone

"Life as you know it will never be the same."

I remember reading those first few lines in one of the {many} parenting books Mike and I purposed on reading before Annaleigh was born.  I also remember thinking, yeah, of course.  Sure.  I get that...I TOTALLY understand life will be different.

Ha.

What did I know?

And who was I trying to fool?

This book also says 

"A healthy husband-wife relationship is essential to the emotional health of children in the home."

Basically it was telling me that my relationship with my husband is central to a well-rounded and happy life in this world.  {Secondary to my relationship with the Lord, of course...}  So how did it get this far?  How did we get to a place where we felt so disconnected with each other? 

Three things I can sense was the reason:

A lack of prayer for our marriage.  You think it'll just keep working like it always has been.  But even the most efficient and well-working machines need routine upkeep.  And I believe praying to God, that he keeps your bond strong, is essential.

A lack of communication.  We never thought to stop and discuss what we needed from each other.  Instead, we assumed that other person already sensed those needs but was just failing to follow through.

An abundance of selfishness.  We focused on ourselves.  We focused on what we weren't getting.  And that's not true love.  Love is a giving of yourself to meet your spouse's needs, in spite of your own needs.  {Hard?  I know.  But Christ is our example.  And what did He gain from choosing to come to earth as a man and die on a cross?  It was a self-less act of unconditional love.}

The remedy?

Prayer. Communication. Love. Time.  And a DATE NIGHT!!

Which we are so grateful to our dear friends who watched Annaleigh for us on Saturday night so we could make it a reality...  

Burgers & Fries at Five Guys

Shakespeare in the Park:
Much Ado About Nothing

"You may think: 'But we do not argue or lack in our love for each other.'  Be warned, insecurity is fostered by what is not taking place between couples as much as what is taking place.  The goal of parenting is not simply to avoid excessive anxiety, but to create a world of confidence by what we do with each other as much as by what we avoid doing....To improve the quality of the parent-child relationship, parents first must continue to evaluate the quality of their relationship with each other.  Would it stand alone without baby?"

I love you Michael.

With all my heart.

I want to stand alone with no one else but you...

Today, I'm linked up to...

love means a cross

When you are not yet married, or when you marriage is over and you look back on those years with longing, it is without doubt quite possible to idealize it.  But there is one thing which enters into all of life, one thing which will keep us from idealizing life's best and will make bearable life's worst, and that is the Cross.  The Cross must enter into marriage.  "Who loveth suffereth too."

The Cross enters the moment you recognize a relationship as a gift.  The One who gives it may withdraw it at any time, and, knowing this, you give thanks in the receiving.  Desiring above all else to do the will of God, you offer back to Him this greatest of all earthly gifts as an oblation, lifted up in worship and praise, with faith that in the offering it will be transformed for the good of others.

This is what sacrifice means.  This is why the Cross of Christ "towers o'er the wrecks of time."  Love is sacrificial.  Sacrifice is a giving, an offering up, and the meaning of sacrifice in the Bible is the giving of life to another...

...Maturity starts with the willingness to give oneself.  Childishness is characterized by self-centeredness.  It is only the emotionally and spiritually mature who are able to lay down their lives for others, those who are "masters of themselves that they might be servants of others."

The specific ways in which the great principle of the Cross works in daily living are expressed most perfectly in the Love Chapter of the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13.  Here we find proof of the stark and sacrificial rather than emotional character of love.

Christian love is action.  It is the warp and woof of marriage, and because marriage itself is a life work, this love is worked out through all the days and years of marriage, growing as it is practiced, deepening as cares and responsibilities deepen, and turning, at the same time, those cares and responsibilities (and even the drudgeries) into deeper joy.

Paul said that it is not eloquence, it is not the gift of prophecy or knowledge or even knowing the very secrets of God, it is not absolute faith that matters ultimately.  It is love.  If I know your heart at all, I know that you are not tempted to think of yourself as possessing any of these lofty and enviable gifts.  But you do love.  Of that you are perfectly sure.  Will it last?  It will, if it is the kind of love of which Paul speaks...

...If you can understand your womanhood...in this light, you will know fullness of life.  Hear the call of God to be a woman.  Obey that call.  Turn your energies to service.  Whether your service is to your husband and through him and the family and home God gives you to serve the world, or whether you should remain, in the providence of God, single in order to serve the world without the solace of husband, home, and family, you will know fullness of life, fullness of liberty, and (I know whereof I speak) fullness of joy.

Chapter 49 in Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot 

(not shown in it's entirety for the sake of length)

Majority Rules

Ok. So Michael and I are VERY different when it comes to the general temperature of the apt. From what I understand, this has been a common battle that has been in place since Creation.

Mike is comfortable at 65 degrees. He likes the air to have "bite". I, however, do not think lounging around in every piece of clothing and outerwear I own is "comfortable". I would say I'm comfortable when the temp. is somewhere in the low 70s.

I understand...it saves us money...blah blah blah. Ok, so it's good for our wallets that my husband is really a penguin in a human body. But I HATE being cold. At least once a day you can hear me whining (and I mean WHINE) about the temperature of the apt. "I'm soooo cooollldd. I hhaaattee being cooollldd, " I say, in the most whiniest voice/tone you've ever heard a spoiled kid use. But my husband ignores me (a trait he picked up in order to survive).
Well.....yesterday, when I went to put my laundry baskets in the guest room, who do I see plastered up against the heater but our cat, Saide. She was content and purring next to the warm heat. She was SO close that if I didn't know better I would have thought her skin was grafted to the thing. When I was petting her, her fur was on fire. Lucky.
This is what I say: Majority Rules! The cat and I are freezing. Mike is not. I vote for heat and warmth and the shedding of my wardrobe!

When Mike calls you asking, "Have you seen my wife or my cat?" Tell him to go check the guest room. Tell him to check by the heater. That's where we'll be. You can bet on it.