i'm irritated with you

The Lord has really been challenging me lately.  He has been teaching me a lot about my role as a wife and mother through many sources, avenues, books, and people.  And that would be the reason for my lack of consistency on this here blog.

I love writing.  There's something about getting your thoughts down in black and white.  To see them materialize before your eyes.  To understand, more clearly, what goes on inside.  To be honest with yourself.  To prove {or disprove} your sanity.  To inspire others.    

However, I don't love it more than my husband.  Or my children.

And I've found myself becoming irritated when I cannot get to my blogger dashboard.  I become consumed by blogging titles, subjects and content.  Or, if I'm already there, I become annoyed with the endless interruptions due to their endless needs.  

But are their 'endless needs' the problem?

The thought came to me the other day: 

When I focus on my family as my main ministry to the Lord, 
they no longer interfere with my to-do list, but BECOME my to-do list.

To answer the question:  no.

It's my priorities that are my problem.

They aren't making the top of my list.  And they should be.  THEY are my ministry which God has given me to fulfill.  And if I fail to fulfill those God-given roles...I've failed completely.

And if you've read any good portion of this blog, you'll soon realize I'm a {recovering} perfectionist.  Failure is not an option.

My home should be a haven.  And if I'm not expending most of  my energy and resources to provide that for my family, then what is the point of my life.  What's the point of this blog if I'm not actively engaged in enjoying the harvest?

It begins with me.  My thoughts.  And seeing those thoughts here, materialized, I can be completely honest with you.  Blogging needs to take a back seat.  I'll get to it when I can.  But from this moment on, I'll be obsessing over them. 

I'll see you around soon.  Because right now, I'm feeling irritated by this blog.  

There's a little person that needs some tending to....I can hear a sweet little voice, calling Mommy...and she needs me...