you're broken. He bought you.

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I participate in a weekly, non-denominational, community Bible study. We are currently working through the book of Mark.  And I LOVE it.  It has been such a source of teaching, support and comfort.  I don't remember the last time I've learned so much about God.  Deep things.  Passionate things.  Things that feed my innermost soul.

One question a few weeks ago was,

How are the disciples described in Mark's record?

Then it was followed by supporting verses to look through so we could find the answer.  It asked us to read Mark 7:14-18; 9:30-32; 10:35-39; 14:50, 66-72.

After examining those verses, my personal conclusion was this:

The disciples were colorfully described as

without understanding

afraid to question Jesus

prideful

disloyal

scared

deniers of Jesus

liars

those who cursed and swore

weak

selfish

etc, etc, etc...

The question that followed was,

What does this tell you about those who follow Jesus?

In light of recent circumstances in my life, this was like God stepped out of heaven, put His sovereignty and ruling of the universe on hold for but a moment...simply to come to me and wrap His arms around me and hold me.

I have realized that Jesus isn't looking for me to "have it all together" in order to serve Him.  In fact, the opposite is true.  The more BROKEN I am, the more I recognize HIS POWER in my life, and therefore the BETTER He can use me.  What did I just say? I need to be broken?  Not perfect?  Or plastic? Whoa.  I sound like someone who is learning she is covered in God's grace.

Jesus is looking for those who are true, committed followers.
Not perfect.
Not those who "act" like Christians.
Not those who "do" Christianity.

Just true.
Completely committed.
Willing to follow Him anywhere.

The disciples were really a motley crew.  They were a mixed group of extremes (from a zealot to a tax collector).  They weren't even scholars.  But they were CHOSEN to follow.  And they did.

It is the call of Jesus, not anything they hold in common, which makes them...and us, capable of being part of His company.

Rest in that truth.  Bathe in it.  And don't let your brokenness hold you back from following the One who chose you.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.  Psalm 51:17