Thursday, February 21, 2013

someday soon my heart will finally settle down

Mike has been sending out lots of resumes recently.  He will graduate in May 2013.  (HOORAY!) And because we are in a year-long internship, we will stay here in Rochester through July 2013.

My mind constantly races.  Meaning?  I never stop thinking.  My brain is like a hamster in a eternal exercise wheel.  So whenever I'm doing anything, my mind is analyzing my life.  If I'm doing dishes, I'm thinking.  If I'm driving, thinking.  Making the beds, thinking.  Folding laundry, thinking.  Eating.  Reading.  Crafting.  Thinking. Thinking. Thinking.

Do I get tired?  Yes.  Always.  But I'm used to it.  And I'm grateful that God has given me this mind and gives me the knowledge and ideas to fill it with.  I really do think of it as a gift.  But it does get tiring.  There are days, to be honest, I'd like to turn it off.  But then, I decide that's not for the best...because, knowing my luck, that would be when the best idea of ALL TIME would hit me...and I wouldn't even know it.

But a particular thought came to mind today as I was sewing a baby gift for a baby shower I'm attending on Saturday...

I am finally going to know what it feels like to be "settled".

Mike and I have not stayed in the same place for very long through out our 7-1/2 years of marriage.  And don't get me wrong, I have adored, cherished, and LOVED this adventure we are living.  We are filling our memory banks to the BRIM with lots of happy-goodness.  We have met so many WONDERFUL and  AMAZING friends (aka. family) each place we have lived. Experienced so much local flavor.  And we have had the chance to eat at some pretty phenominal restautrants (I think it's safe to consider ourselves restaurant foodies)....and not chain-restaurants..."diamonds in the rough" restaurants...the ones you only know about through word-of-mouth...or find by accident.  

At the same time, I am enchanted by the lives of those who are "settled".  Isn't that funny?  We all want whats on the "other side of the fence"!  Moving around has made this life lonely.  And I know being "settled" isn't a cure for loneliness...but it will be one less time where I have to "start over" in the friend department.  I love making new friends!!!  TOTALLY!!  But it's emotionally taxing.  (Will she like me?  Does she think I'm weird?  Well...I am...but have I shown her "too much" weird-ness up front?  How much is too much?  Did I say the wrong thing?  Did I say too much?  I need to stop talking! Why can't I ever stop talking???! I really hope she wants to be my friend...)

I also want to have town/city that "belongs" to me.  Where I know how to navigate the back-roads around town.  Where I know my mail-man.  Learn my neighbors names.  Have a church home.  Invest my life.  Make a difference right where I am.  Live fully.  Plant flowers.  And roots.

I'm excited to call somePLACE my home.

I don't expect life to get "better"...because I think my life is "better" right now.  So don't mis-interpert what I'm trying to say.    It will just be a different kind of "nice".

What I'm trying to say is this:

It will just be nice to have my heart stay-put for a few years.


  1. God does give good gifts while we wait for direction, doesn't He?

  2. Michelle, on the always thinking part I can relate to how your feeling. I am the exact same way. Oh and wondering if people find you your not, im just as much as an oddball as anybody. Maybe thats why we both became friends long ago as kids. So dont worry you are who you are and god or the people who care and love you wouldnt have you any other way!

    1. awww! Thanks Becky!!! Your words mean a lot to me :)

  3. Anonymous2/22/2013

    Punkin, you will Never stop talkin! LOL <3

  4. I SO get this, Michelle.

    Over the last 10 years the cycle of my life has been: move, have a baby, move, have a baby, move, have a baby, move. Our last move was in November, and the longest stay we had was 3 years. I am so ready to break this cycle! Of course, we are thankful for each stop, the friendships made, and ministry we've been able to be a part of. But I long to be settled; to have our house and life in a rhythm, to experience deeper friendships, and to get out of boxes! LOL.

    I know that God's plans are best and I am not "entitled" to be settled, but I do crave to be in our current place for a long, long time!


Love is to the heart what the summer is to the farmer's year - it brings to harvest all the loveliest flowers of the soul. -Unknown