Monday, April 27, 2009

Living Life Again

I remember it like it was yesterday...

About nine months ago, on a hot July day, we pulled up to, what is now, our home. Our quaint and character-filled apartment in West Scranton, PA. Tall steep steps leading to carpet-covered porch (yes, I said carpet-covered). As I put the car in park, I never could imagine my life feeling comfortable with my surroundings ever again. Being born and raised in Massachusetts, with only a handful of trips outside my home-state and going to college only 45-minutes away, I had never really ventured beyond my front steps.

The awkwardness and loneliness over the next few months was enough to consume me. Mike would go to school and go to work nearly every day, all day. All the while, I would stay couped up in the apartment listening to jr. high kids hang out on our street wondering if they were the "good" or "bad" kind of jr. high kids. Then realizing, in case of an emergency...who do I call?? Michael?? But what if he doesn't answer his phone? My mom?? She lives 5 hours away and they way she drives, she'd end up in Providence, RI, not Scranton. My dad?? Sure, he'd come... the way he drives he's be here in 3 hours...but what if in 3 hours, I'm already dead?? It's easy to say that we are to hold every thought captive to the obedience of Christ...but it's much more difficult if you don't have a TV to distract you from the neighborhood noise outside your door. While reading God's Word, you can still hear the police cars picking up a suspect two blocks away. Holding your thoughts captive to Christ is not easy....

My point of the post??

Going from sheer boredom and loneliness to back to practising the power of "no" again. Who knew?! I can not believe the busy-ness that consumes my life. So much so, that I have no time for me! When in Massachusetts, I was so busy I didn't really know which way was up. Always doing something, going somewhere, helping someone...

In the start of this new chapter in our lives, I did not see this coming. I assumed I would make friends and have portions of my weeks filled with lightly entertaining events...but not literally transposing my life from MA to PA (just with a few new main characters)!

All this to say...I'm grateful. I don't always enjoy how life manages to crowd in on itself, but I do enjoy being with people who love me, want me around, and want to hear my heart. I enjoy living life rather than waiting for life to start.

I praise God and love Him for being the one and only who can fill the void in my soul. I am grateful for His grace and mercy. I am humbled that even in the midst of apparent loneliness...He was there...growing me for His glory...

1 comment:

  1. Holding thoughts captive to Christ is such a struggle for me too- I know we've talked about it before! What a great reminder that HE is completely control of my life and I need not worry what the day will bring forth because its in HIS hands!


Love is to the heart what the summer is to the farmer's year - it brings to harvest all the loveliest flowers of the soul. -Unknown