"If reading God's Word is the most important thing that we must do each day, then why is it so hard?" ~Peggy Walker
That's the question that began her lecture during our monthly Seminary Wives Fellowship (SWF) meeting. My answer: "I don't know, but it is hard." Her answer: "....for we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places..." Ephesians 6:12. The wiles of the devil can be defined as distractions with no eternal value!
We don't wrestle against people or things. We wrestle against the devil, his demons, and his ways. When I can't find the time and when I do anything else in place of being in the Word, the devil has the victory. The devil is working overtime to fill my mind and my time with things less worthy than God's Word. Therefore, making it difficult to be in the Word, leading to an unclear definition of my ministries (wife, mother, etc...), inhibiating my ability to defend myself accordingly, and ultimately resulting in my fall.
Here are some causes to our problem of being in the Word:
- Knowing how
- Sin in our lives
Galatians 5:17 "...So that you cannot do the things that you would."
Romans 7:15-17 "Warring between spirit and flesh."
"You're powerless if you're not in the Word," she says. She goes on to say that you can't fool people and you can't fool God when you are trying to do it all on your own and in your own strength and ability. You'll only last for so long. In order to have "the power of His might" (Eph. 6:10) you must be in the Word.
Whoa. Scary stuff. The type of fear that forces me to be proactive in my personal time and devotion with God.
Huh. She's right. Peggy Walker continued with her lecture, encouraging us to form our own personal Biblical philosophy. Her personal desire is that she be known as "a woman of the Word." She said that we must define and defend what we do as a wife, as a mother, and as a pastor's wife. She knows of at least 10 pastor's wives who do not attend church on Sunday mornings. She believes it's because they have not defined what they do according to God's Word. They are not in the Word and can't follow it's teachings in order to glorify God. They've been pushed out by people and criticism. (ppssttt...not flesh and blood. Wiles of the devil.) You need to be able to stand firm and solid on what you believe so that even when people disagree, you can answer them, "I'm doing what I believe is right according to the Word of God."
Halfway through I panicked, wishing I had a tape recorder with me to remember each precious word that left her mind through her mouth. I wasn't taking very many notes because I was so enthralled and engaged in what I was hearing. It hadn't even cross my mind until it was too late. She was so encouraging! I was moved to action! Feeling empowered to study the Bible so that I could "be strong in the Lord..." (Eph. 6:10)
Reading/studying God's Word faithfully has been a constant struggle throughout my Christian walk. I desperately desire to change that from struggle to victory with the help and power of Jesus Christ. He has already begun to equip me in order to acccomplish this process. Peggy Walker's lecture has jump-started it all. And with the help of a few close friends and most importantly, the Holy Spirit, I feel I can do this.
The idea that hit home most was this: God's purpose for my life is to love Him and know Him. And if I know Him, I ultimately know who I am in Him.
I am not simply "along for the ride" with Michael as he pursues his M.Div. and then a pastor. I am on a team. A team created by God and for God. And as in the realm of sports, I must be as conditioned and as skilled as my husband to glorify God and to accomplish His will for our lives. I must make it my goal, my desire, my life's work to know God better. To be disciplined. I can't do that through "osmosis" - expecting to get the knowledge from my husband's knowledge. I must define myself as a wife, mother, and pastor's wife according to God's Word. Then I will be able to defend myself using God's Word. But I must be in the Word.
I do not want to fail my Creator. I do not want to fail my Savior. I do not want to fail my Heavenly Father. I want to glorify God in every fiber of my being. Praise the Lord for His love and patience. Like the children's song: "He's still working on me, to make me what I oughta be. It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars, the sun and the Earth, and Jupiter and Mars. How loving and patient He must be, 'cuz He's still working on me..."
I'm not a final product, but my goal is that when I get to heaven, there won't be much change between my earthly self and my heavenly self. Please pray for me. Pray for my daily return to the Word of God. I want to know more deeply of who I am in Him. I want to love Him more deeply. I want to be known as a woman of the Word.