5 months to go....until graduation.
It's hard to believe that Mike and I are half-way through this adventure called: internship.
As I look out our kitchen window, I suddenly recognize a familiar feeling I had forgotten and never imagined I feel again so soon. The feeling of home. The feeling of belonging.
And then the thought crept into my mind, as if a robber to steal this most recent and precious possession: our time here is temporary. Then I remembered another feeling. One that seems to have just healed...and begins to tear at my heart a little. The feeling of change. And the realization, we will move again. I will pack up our things and our family again. I will have to say goodbye to those I love again. We will have to drive away, and not return....again.
The mystery of these feelings baffles me. I can't make them out. Creating a difficulty, within my mind, to understand.
Wasn't this the place of brokenness as I learned to trust my Savior more? Wasn't this the place of tears and loneliness? And now I crave to stay? To remain? To always cook scrambled eggs on this stove for those sweet babies of mine?
As I sit and type, I can honestly say this internship experience cannot be clearly and concisely explained. I have learned so much, been through so much, felt so much. That's one reason why I have not written about it much. It's exists in such a pure and raw form inside my head. It rolls around and around, desperately wanting to come out, but just doesn't know how...yet.
But what I do know is this:
God loves me.
I trust Him.
So right now. That's enough for me.
And yet....isn't that always enough?
|the view from my window: the church parking lot in the early morning|