You probably have absolutely no idea of the number or height of emotions that sentence creates for me as a seminary wife!
It was four years ago we packed up our Fitchburg, MA apartment into a moving truck, set our clunky, old, non-working washer/dryer onto the front curb (in hopes that either the garbage man or any man would take pity upon that rusty duo and put it out of it's misery, because we surely weren't going to do it!), and drove approximately 5 hours, south, to what would eventually be the start of our seminary life.
|Mike and I|
4 years ago
Now, that I know the range of emotions of which my brain is capable, it's a newly overwhelming feeling to be standing in a such familiar spot. Gazing out onto my future...and not having a blessed clue as to what I'm looking at, yet knowing it could be oh.so.scary.
***I know what you're thinking...oh, Michelle...it's going to be OK. God has plans for your GOOD....I know this truth very well. But if we all are truly honest with ourselves...it doesn't help anyone IN THE MOMENT nor does it make all that scariness just go away. I still have to ENDURE this stuff people! To be even more honest, I don't think it's a bad thing to be scared. Here's why I think that:
Most people I know are quite fond of the apostle Paul, not because he was a super-achiever who spread the gospel throughout the known world, but because he realized that his pains and limitations were what kept him dependent on Christ. He knew he was a mess.
-Mary Beth Chapman, Choosing to SEESo...yeah. I'm scared. And that's what's OK. I'm dealing with it. Because, like Mary Beth said, I'm being kept dependent on Christ. And He knows that I know I'm a mess. That's good stuff, right? I thought so.
***The official start date of our internship is July 15th. Exactly....exactly...the same date we left for seminary 4 years ago. Did you just get chills, too?
Therefore, this mama has stepped into major high-gear with the purging process. I had told myself 4 years ago, as I stood in the empty attic of our new apartment, that this attic would stay empty. Are you laughing? Because I am. Our attic is a far cry from being empty. All it took was a-little-of-this and a-little-of-that, a couple babies later, and now I have to clean it out. And I hate to clean. In spite of that truth, I've been going through every nook and cranny of this place, pulling out everything last knick knack and appliance I own, asking myself two questions:
Is it useful to me?
Is it beautiful to me?
If the answer is "no" to each of those questions, I'm getting rid of it. Not to say that these things are nice and good things. They are. It just that when you have multiple nice and good things, it starts to resemble nice junk and good(?) clutter. And that's the definition of my house most days...junkie and clutter-y.
So off it's going! To my yard sale! Hooray for yard sales! Hooray for purging!
This Saturday, BBC&S will be having it's annual "Lot" sale (aka. a yard sale happening right on their campus which anyone can rent a space to sell their "treasures" and for any others to come and buy it all. please come and buy it all! my stuff, that is.)
The reason for the purging and the selling is because I hate packing almost more than I hate cleaning. That's a lot of hate. I refuse to pack a ton of boxes which will have to be heaved and hoed into a moving truck (I shutter at the thought). And if I can make a little bit of profit off of the things I don't want to pack, then that's a bonus! Hooray for yard sales! Hooray for less boxes!
So that's what I'll be doing for this week: Moving my treasures down from my non-empty attic, so that I can organize it, to sell it all this Saturday to all those treasure-seeking buyers that will fill up their attic and empty out mine. I'm so happy to be de-cluttering my house so that I have less to pack into a truck on July 15th. But not less to actually clean! And I guess I'm still packing it onto a truck...just on a different day...so that I can sell it. Oh well. Maybe I should just stop collecting treasures. And away we go!!....
Our family is doing our best to fight off sickness.
This silly back-and-forth weather is to blame.