Friday, September 24, 2010

think the best of them

"I never realized how much fun it would be to be a mom."

This quote is definitely not mine.  Although deep down inside, and shallow up to the surface, I want it to be mine.  In every way.  But it's not.

That quote came from a dear friend one night as we were all sharing about ourselves.  And to be honest, when it had come to my turn, someone had to remind me to inform everyone that I had a daughter.  I had forgotten.  How bad is that?

To give myself credit, it was a night for me to let my hair down.  And in my mind, I was just 'me' for that night.  As Mike and Annaleigh spent some time together at home, I was out.  Out with ALL girls.  No kiddies.  No hubbies.  So when asked to share about myself, I did just that.  Shared about me.  But that means, I forgot about my family.

I marvel at Mom's who seem so put together.  The Mom's who are dressed to perfection.  Flawless makeup, with a little extra glitter in their gloss.  Salon-styled trendy hair.  Pushing a stroller in the one hand, while sipping a Starbucks latte in the other.  I read in a magazine that those Mom's have their days, too.

Yet, for my friend to mention being a Mom is fun.  Fun?  I guess.  I'm sure I've felt that at some point.  Maybe once.  Twice?  Ok...I've felt it.  Yes, it's been fun.  However, that is NOT the first thing that comes to my mind when I think of motherhood.

When I was a teacher, Mike helped me to always think of the best of my school-kids.  Because I always thought they were up to something, no matter how good of a kid they always were.  How bad is that?

I think I'm doing the same with my daughter.  That's pretty bad.

I want 'fun' to be the first thing I think of when I think of my daughter.
And be grateful for the joy that she most truly is.

Motherhood can be such a challenge some days.  Especially today.  And yesterday.  And this past week.  The tantrums are exhausting, I tell ya.

I eventually did get better at thinking the best of those school-kids.  How did I do it?  I surrendered.  To the Lord.  Every morning.  All my actions and words that would occur that day.  And it worked.

Lord, I surrender to You.

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Love is to the heart what the summer is to the farmer's year - it brings to harvest all the loveliest flowers of the soul. -Unknown