someday soon my heart will finally settle down

Mike has been sending out lots of resumes recently.  He will graduate in May 2013.  (HOORAY!) And because we are in a year-long internship, we will stay here in Rochester through July 2013.

My mind constantly races.  Meaning?  I never stop thinking.  My brain is like a hamster in a eternal exercise wheel.  So whenever I'm doing anything, my mind is analyzing my life.  If I'm doing dishes, I'm thinking.  If I'm driving, thinking.  Making the beds, thinking.  Folding laundry, thinking.  Eating.  Reading.  Crafting.  Thinking. Thinking. Thinking.

Do I get tired?  Yes.  Always.  But I'm used to it.  And I'm grateful that God has given me this mind and gives me the knowledge and ideas to fill it with.  I really do think of it as a gift.  But it does get tiring.  There are days, to be honest, I'd like to turn it off.  But then, I decide that's not for the best...because, knowing my luck, that would be when the best idea of ALL TIME would hit me...and I wouldn't even know it.

But a particular thought came to mind today as I was sewing a baby gift for a baby shower I'm attending on Saturday...

I am finally going to know what it feels like to be "settled".

Mike and I have not stayed in the same place for very long through out our 7-1/2 years of marriage.  And don't get me wrong, I have adored, cherished, and LOVED this adventure we are living.  We are filling our memory banks to the BRIM with lots of happy-goodness.  We have met so many WONDERFUL and  AMAZING friends (aka. family) each place we have lived. Experienced so much local flavor.  And we have had the chance to eat at some pretty phenominal restautrants (I think it's safe to consider ourselves restaurant foodies)....and not chain-restaurants..."diamonds in the rough" restaurants...the ones you only know about through word-of-mouth...or find by accident.  

At the same time, I am enchanted by the lives of those who are "settled".  Isn't that funny?  We all want whats on the "other side of the fence"!  Moving around has made this life lonely.  And I know being "settled" isn't a cure for loneliness...but it will be one less time where I have to "start over" in the friend department.  I love making new friends!!!  TOTALLY!!  But it's emotionally taxing.  (Will she like me?  Does she think I'm weird?  Well...I am...but have I shown her "too much" weird-ness up front?  How much is too much?  Did I say the wrong thing?  Did I say too much?  I need to stop talking! Why can't I ever stop talking???! I really hope she wants to be my friend...)

I also want to have town/city that "belongs" to me.  Where I know how to navigate the back-roads around town.  Where I know my mail-man.  Learn my neighbors names.  Have a church home.  Invest my life.  Make a difference right where I am.  Live fully.  Plant flowers.  And roots.

I'm excited to call somePLACE my home.

I don't expect life to get "better"...because I think my life is "better" right now.  So don't mis-interpert what I'm trying to say.    It will just be a different kind of "nice".

What I'm trying to say is this:

It will just be nice to have my heart stay-put for a few years.

my home maintance plan

Someone once told me,

You should be able to "clean up" your house and make in presentable in 20 minutes.

Excuse me a minute...

Bahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!

At least that's what I thought 4 years ago.

I am a terrible housekeeper.  I fit into the catergory of "all or nothing".  I either clean ALL of the house in one day...or I clean NOTHING at all.  There's never been a middle-ground for me.

This housekeeping journey I've been on since the day Mike and I got married has been a grueling learning experience.  Trying to constantly find the right balance.  The right methods.  

I'd see how others did it, and then I try and copy them.

And then I'd fail.

And I'd go back to my trusty bad habits.

All the while my poor home seemed to suffer near-condemnation.

poor home.

Until today.  I was sweeping our hallway.  And in that moment, I realized, "I think I've done it!"

As I continued to sweep, I further realized that if someone came knocking on my door, I wouldn't feel immediate panic.  WHAT JOY that is to feel that way!

Not that my house is white-glove clean.  (it's not) But that it's presentable.  There are toys on my floor, but not ALL the toys.  There are dishes on one side of my sink, but they are CLEAN.  My bed is made.  And my bathroom smells pretty.

How did I accomplish such a coveted circumstance??

I have disciplined myself.

It's taken a lot of work.  And I have to PURPOSE to do the following things whether I "feel" like it or not.  Even the Bible says in Hebrews 12:11, "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

I do just ONE BIG thing a day: 

Monday - clean the bathroom 

Tuesday - clean the bedrooms/change sheets

Wednesday - clean the kitchen/clean out fridge

Thursday - sweep/vacuum/mop

Friday - errands/grocery shop

Saturday - dust/shed junk

Sunday - rest

As well as do THREE SMALL things a day: 

#1 I do the dishes (I don't have a dishwasher appliance) after EVERY meal

#2 I make the beds

#3 I do one load of laundry

It breaks down like this:

I don't clean my house to make it PERFECTLY clean and PERFECTLY presentable in one exhausted attempt.

I MAINTAIN my home so it EASILY stays clean and presentable. And I LEARN to be OK if parts of my house still need some "sprucing up".  I LEARN to be satisfied in what I have done rather than be dissatisfied with what I haven't done.

So if someone were to say to me today,

You should be able to "clean up" your house and make it presentable in 20 minutes.

I can say, "YES!"

My additional hope is to teach my daughter at a young age this idea of "maintainence", of doing one big task daily.  I pray that when she gets married, the transition of becoming a homemaker will be seamless!  And she will be able to find the JOY that can be found in doing these tasks so much sooner than I was able to!  May her "discipline" in these areas happen while she is still my daughter rather than learning them too late.  Dear Lord, may it be so.

What tips/methods have YOU found to be helpful in maintaining your home?

my plans aren't always His plans...

...and that's a good thing!
Today was no exception.

If you asked me what I had "planned" for the day, it wasn't this!

One of the things on my "to-do" list was to continue with  my blogging series.

But at 10:30am, I got a phone call from my husband letting me know he will be coming home for lunch {insert elation!}...with...guests {a family of 6, mind you}!  

{insert frantic-perfectionist-control-freak-panic here}

Needless to say, I figuratively threw my 2012 planner out the kitchen window.

And I geared up and switched my focus into "hostess-mode".

{Side note/story:  Let me just take a minute to say something here.  I have recently been training myself to get into the regular habit of maintaining my household:  beds made every morning, dishes done multiple times per day (and especially before bed), doing a 10 minute "sweep" of my house here and there throughout the day, doing one load of laundry/day, cleaning up toys before nap-time and before bed-time, etc, etc.  I've been doing great at this!  I'm so proud of myself!  {patting myself on the back}  I rarely have had days of intense cleaning...because I do a little bit each day.

All this to say, when Mike called me, the panic wasn't because my house wasn't in order...because my house looked great {I have not always been able to say this}!  The heart of the reason why I've been trying to do better at keeping my house is because of the Lord's recent conviction.

He has been showing me, over time, that this "job" of being a SAHM, has been appointed by Him to me...being a SAHM is a blessing and a great ministry.  One which brings glory to God!  I'm learning this life is not a burden, but a blessing!!!

And when Mike called, that mind-set was confirmed.  Because Mike told me {in more or less words} that he knew he could call with such a request, and not place extra pressure on me, because he knows how hard I've been working to maintain the order of our home.  This showed me that keeping my home orderly, on a regular basis, is work I do for the glory of God. And, although, most days, I never see how my "work" affects eternity, today I did!!

With misty eyes, the couple that came to eat lunch with us, expressed such deep gratitude and expressed God's confirmation on their decision to start seminary in the fall due to the incredible hospitality they have felt while being in PA.  Can you believe that?  Mopping my floors IS A MINISTRY.  What a blessing!  Not only to my family, but to those unexpected guests that happen to drop by!!  To God be the GLORY.

What if my house looked like it usually did?  (a disaster...)  I wouldn't have been as willing to accept these guests into our home.  And a willingness to be hospitable was what the Lord wanted from me today!  I was able to participate in the Lord's will for my life, the life of Mike and the lives of our guests because my house  wasn't gross!  (I said it wasn't 'gross', mind you.  That's because it's not eat-of-the-floor-clean and perfect...you do NOT have to have a perfect home - or clean, for that matter - to be hospitable and used of the Lord...and my house is usually GROSS.  Yes, I know even stating that fact is 'gross'.  But it's the truth.  And that's what you get when you come visit my blog, folks.)  What I'm saying is that I could HAPPILY participate in God's will for my life because I was already actively doing God's will in my life.  I needed that confirmation from Him.  He doesn't have to choose to give that to me, but He does.  And that's true love, folks....}

UPDATE:  The family above talked with Mike when they returned to the seminary.  They went on to discuss how the Lord has strongly convicted them during this trip in the area of hospitality.  They have a new desire to show the same abundant love and friendliness towards others that are in the same circumstances they are currently in:  in the process of up-rooting their family, the transitions involved, and the various trips to the seminary (before they attend) to figure out details (housing, jobs, schools, etc...).  They want to be able to happily open their homes to prospective seminary families because of how hospitable every one has been to them here!  How cool is that???  All the glory goes to the Lord.

Anyway...there is one thing that has remained on my to-do list.  That is to go get ready for our date night!  Can I get a woot!  woot!

So if you'll excuse me, here I go!

See you all tomorrow when I {prayerfully and in God's will} continue my blogging series on true beauty.

Annaleigh helping me feed John David a bottle.
(Sometimes he requires a supplement of formula because he's hungrier than what I can give him!)
That boy loves his food!!

67° and weird weather.
We've had dark clouds, rain, sun, wind, cold, warm, and the threat of a thunder storm.
Like I said...weird.

st. patty's day cookies

I checked the freezer.

We were out of ice cream.

And it was an ice cream kinda day.

I eat ice cream most days.

But especially on my bad days.

The tough days.

The cry-till-your-eyes-are-puffy days.

Necessity breeds invention.

And I needed a major soul-nourishing treat.

Realizing that large doses of sugar consumption should be included.

I turned to my Gramma's famous sugar cookie recipe.

But yesterday I was lazy.

Like....really lazy.

I didn't want to put the dough in the fridge for 30 minutes.

I didn't want to flour a cutting board and roll the dough out.

I didn't care about cutting out shapes.

I just wanted to eat some cookies.

A lot of them.

Now.

Can you tell I'm really big into instant gratification?

Just blame it on my generation.  Generation X, that is.

So here's my solution:

 I whipped up the sugar-cookie dough.

Added in some green food coloring.

I scooped out the dough (about 1 rounded TBL) with my small Pampered Chef scoop.

I plopped it in a dish of sugar.

I proceeded to completely cover the ball of dough in sugar {mmmm...sugar}.

 I then put each sugar-coated ball of dough onto my cookie sheet about 2" apart.

I pressed each ball of dough down so it was flat and about 1/2" thick.
(I used one of my fondant tools, but using the bottom of a drinking glass works just as well!)

I placed them in the oven and baked them for about 9 minutes.

(Your oven may cook differently than mine, so be sure to pop in on them every so often to check and adjust as needed.)

You want them to be **slightly** browned on the bottom.

Transfer to a cooling rack.

 Now you could just eat them this way.

Which would be super lazy easy and just as yummy.

But that little leprechaun bit me.

and I decided it would be nice to go one step further.

 I had some left over icing in the fridge from a birthday cake I just made the other day for a friend.

So I took it out of the fridge when I started making the cookies;

 this way it would be the right consistency when I would eventually need to use it.

I kept it in the plastic zip-loc bag I had originally stored it in,

snipped a small portion off the corner

and used that as my "pastry-bag".

I hand sketched a four-leaf clover

(you could just print off one from your computer's clip-art collection, too)

and cut it out (see picture below).

I used it as a guide to draw a clover onto each cookie.

And, voila!

My sugar therapy fix come to life:

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

66° Rainy and wet.

another regular, normal, beautiful day; a second chance

It's 1:26pm.

I have yet to take a shower.

I threw on jeans and a tshirt this morning so I could make it through the day not feeling like a complete (smelly) loser.

The three of us have been busy running around in the sunshine.

And, as I learned a few years back,

this just falls into the category of "suffering to lack".

What the heck does that mean?

Well...

...it means that whenever you do something,

ANYTHING,

something else will suffer.

It will lack by not having it's needs met.

Which gives this perfectionist a ticket to fail.

Because it's a guarantee that something is NOT getting done

whenever you are getting something done.

It helps me relax a bit more

and I become [a little] less uptight.

So what's been suffering?

What's been lacking?

My house.

My to-do list is longer than my weekly grocery receipt

(due to 64 jars of baby food I receive through WIC).

Man, is that receipt L-O-N-G!

I still have to clean/scrub the bathroom

(it's been neglected far too long...I won't share with you how I know this).

There's all this stuff (I don't know what else to call it)

parked in my bedroom waiting to be transported into the attic.

The inside of my fridge needs a bath.

My cat is apparently afraid of getting lost...

...she's leaving far too many tufts of her hair behind.

Maybe she has a Hansel and Gretel complex??

Which means my wall-to-wall carpeted apartment has a serious date with the vacuum cleaner.

The laundry needs to be washed, 

dried,

and put away (that's the part I hate most).

And then there's the office...

...don't even get me started on the office...

...that will probably take an entire weekend to organize and clean...

...I'm dead serious.

It's g.r.o.s.s.

But, whatever.

Because the most important thing right now is that

I need a shower.

A second cup of coffee.

And an emotional recharge

that I can only obtain from lots and lots and lots of 

hugging and kissing on my babies.

Because it's been told to me,

that if my kids lack their mother,

they'll suffer.

The proof was in yesterday's pudding:  bad day.

And suffer we did.

But the sun came up again this morning

laying new beams of golden light across my floor.

And it reminds me

that today

God's new mercy shines upon my heart again.

That today

I am given a second chance.

It's 1:48pm.

And I have yet to take a shower.

70° Warm in the sun and cool in the shade.

Kiddos are wearing shorts and tshirts.

All my windows are open and we've already visited the crocuses in the front yard.

softening butter

All of a sudden it hits you.

That craving.

That intense craving for a batch of your favorite chocolate chip cookies.

And you need them now.

Actually, you really needed them yesterday.

You gather your ingredients.

And as you do, you realize something.

The butter.

That stupid stick of butter is still in the fridge.

You realize that in an ideal situation, that butter would have already been sitting on the counter for the last hour, doing what it does best to soften itself up to the perfect consistency to make the perfect cookie.

You know that if you don't soften it up enough, your cookies will be round hard lumps.

You also know that if you stick it in the microwave, you, more likely than not, will soften it too much, creating cookie puddles.

Yet you realize your life is never really an ideal situation.

You want to eat a warm, fresh from the oven, cookie.  Now.  Not in an hour.

Waiting for that stick of cold butter to soften will feel like forever.

So what to do?  What to do??

Here's an answer to your baking prayers!  One I found in a little book titled "good things for the kitchen" by Martha Stewart.

It explains a super easy way for you to hurry the process along without sacrificing the integrity of your cookies 

(or whatever else you may be craving today):

Grate the butter into a large mixing bowl.

The little pieces will soften faster than a solid stick.

In no time, the butter will be at room temperature!

photo credit:  Martha Stewart Living

I know.

Your welcome.
Happy baking/eating!!

72° (!!!!!)  Very warm. Sunny. Perfection.

We will be outside today as much as possible.  

In fact, we have plans for a walk, kicking the soccer ball around the yard, blowing bubbles, and some time at the park once Daddy/Mike gets home.

I am so happy for the chance to soak in all that vitamin D!  

(and maybe the start of a tan??  maybe that's just wishful thinking...)

See you tomorrow!

how i freeze/store my homemade baby food

When Annaleigh was old enough to eat solid food, I was excited to try and make my own homemade baby food.  But that never became as fully realized as I had hoped.  I dreamed I was going to be that mother, with food grinder in hand and a freshly baked sweet potato in the other, as I fed my daughter things grown from the natural earth.  

As with most resolutions, it soon came face to face with grueling reality.

And I failed miserably at it.

To this day, I'm not entirely sure why.

I do know, we were receiving WIC, thus giving us 32 jars of baby food a month (leaving little ambition to make my own!).  I am also high-strung.  Trying to do everything else perfectly leaves little time to do it all perfectly.  And she was my first baby...I didn't know what I was doing.

Now John David is old enough to eat solid food.  And I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing now...I think (???).  We are still receiving WIC (and the 32 jars have returned to the picture).  But I also receive $16 of produce per month through WIC, as well.  So what I do is I buy particular fruits and veggies that I know will go home and be turned into baby food.  And then I get 32 jars of every other type of fruit/veggie that I know I'm not going to be making that week/month.  This way I can have a larger variety.  Eventually, I will have stocked up enough in my freezer to have a bunch of different foods to appease his ravenous palette and appetite.  

Speaking of the freezer, I wanted to show you all how I freeze/store JD's food.  

What you'll need

"Recipe" for your baby food of choice

(I frequent this site a lot for JD's recipes.  

The one I used in the pictures below is the Squash & Apple Bake recipe.)

1 or 2 used, clean, and dry baby food jars

2 - ice cube trays
(don't buy those fancy-baby-food-freezer-tray-thingies...
seriously, think about it:  all they are is a colorful ice cube tray.)

plastic food wrap

1 - one quart sized ziploc bag

How to Freeze/Store
Step 1

Prepare your homemade baby food according to your recipe.

Step 2
Fill up a few baby food jars for portions you plan to use in the near future.  

Place them immediately in the fridge.  

(These portions may go "bad" if you don't use them right away seeing as they have not been processed to have a long shelf-life.  If you don't plan to use the food quickly, skip this step and move on to step #3.)

Step 3
Fill each ice cube space level with baby food.

Step 4
Once the baby food has been completely transferred to the ice cube trays, 

cover with some plastic food wrap.  

Being sure to press down on each "cube" 

so that the wrap lays directly on (touches) the baby food 

(this helps to lock out the "freezer air").

Step 5
Place baby food-filled ice cube trays in the freezer overnight (or until frozen solid).

Step 6
Once the food is frozen, "pop" out each cube.
I use a paring knife (anything else really thin would work, too) to help encourage the cubes out of the tray.

Step 7
Label your ziploc bag with the type of baby food you'll be placing inside.
Place frozen baby food cubes into the ziploc bag.
And put it back into the freezer until they are needed.

When  you are ready to use them, 

simply open the bag and remove the desired number of cubes 

(each cube equals approximately 1 ounce...

...so 4 cubes should equal one 4 ounce jar of baby food),

place in a microwaveable bowl,

use the defrost option to liquefy/warm up the baby food 

(each  microwave is different, but I usually "defrost" the food for 1 minute, stirring it at 30 secs.  

I continue to defrost at 30 sec intervals -stirring every 15 secs- until it's the desired temperature:  

a little warmer than luke-warm.)

And there you have it!  I hope this helps you increase the interests of your baby's palette (you can make so many more flavors than what is sold in the stores!) as well as help ease the pain of your pocket-book!  So go ahead...be that Mama who feeds her baby things grown from the earth!  But if you try, and you fail (like me).  Don't beat yourself up.  The jars of food sold in stores are more than OK for your baby.   Many children have grown up healthy while eating only those (my daughter is the proof). My motto?  As long as you are feeding your baby edible food everyday...you are an AMAZING mom.  

No one is keeping score.  They really aren't, I promise.

If you have any questions or suggestions, don't be afraid to contact me.  

(Even if JD happens to look afraid....)

(And...yes...my son is sitting inside a PINK bumbo.  It's the unfortunate result of being a little brother to an older sister....)

44° windy and partly sunny (not as warm as yesterday, but I'll take it!)