it's about the journey

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Well...the answer came.
It's quite amazing to me (and every time it happens, in fact) when God answers as quickly as He does.  I mean, He hasn't always chosen to answer so quickly, but when He does (like I said) I'm amazed.

First, let me get something else off my mind.  If you haven't guessed, I'm the "transparent-type". 

I am always inspired and encouraged by "God-stories" and by the people who get to experience them.  In fact, I read those people's blogs a lot, hear those testimonies all over church and also within my closest social circles. 

Let me explain --via hyperbole-- if you're not sure what I mean:

Susie has a problem.  She goes to God in prayer and supplication for guidance on a daily basis.  She never once gets heated or angry (and if she does, she quickly is reminded of the perfect scripture verse that readily nips those sinning thoughts in the bud, in the nick of time).  She may come close to 'human' emotion but remains calm and collected, secure in God's sovereignty and providence.  She is strengthened by her knowledge of who God is and how He works.  Her "faith-meter" is full and is confident that the Lord will hear her.  Soon, her prayers are answered.  Susie begins declaring the glory of the Lord to all she comes in contact with.  Even the homeless man who sits outside the bank.  He then finds Jesus as a result of Susie's reverent declaration and ultimately goes on to become a missionary saving thousands of souls for Christ in the Congo of Africa.

And you say to yourself,  Wow.  If only I could be like Susie.

Let me just say...I am not Susie.

I am glad if you are.  Really, I am.  I'm just not her.

So, with that being said, if you come to my blog thinking you're going to find Susie, you'd be mistaken.

I'm in the process of sanctification.  And if you haven't figured it out...I haven't gotten there yet.

I get mad.  I get heated.  I cry.  I throw tantrums.  I get upset when I don't understand life.  I almost never have the proper Biblical responses to high-stress situations.

But I was encouraged today by Psalm 120. 
The psalmist begins with a prayer for deliverance.  He then is filled with thoughts of (horrific and painful) murder towards those who have done him wrong.  And ends the psalm complaining about the people around him and his current state of existence. 

HOWEVER, he also states that he is for peace. 

I learned today that this means there was a change in his heart (although somewhat little of a change, a change nonetheless).  The preacher who presented these ideas, stated that you could never end a 'good' Christian novel in the way the psalmist ended his poem.  But it speaks to the 'realness' of our human condition.  A 'realness' to our sanctification.  Sometimes, your prayer doesn't always lead you to a divine and magnificent "God-story".  Sometimes it simply leads you to view your current state-of-being in a slightly more positive light.  Allowing you to take a baby-step closer to Christ-likeness.

So I apologize.  Not for my previous post.  But my apology is for those who came looking for Susie.  To those who may have been offended if I mis-represented Christianity.

Because on the contrary.  I don't think it was mis-represented at all. 

I'm still learning.  It's no amazing "God-story" or anything, but my attitude is better than it was a few days ago.  And I think that's pretty magnificent.  In fact, it's divine...

In my distress, I called to the Lord,

and He answered me.

Deliver me, O Lord,

from lying lips,

from a deceitful tongue.

What shall be given to you,

and what more shall be done to you,

you deceitful tongue?

A warrior's sharp arrows,

with glowing coals of the broom tree!

Woe to me, that I sojourn to Meshech,

that I dwell among the tents of Kedar!

Too long have I had my dwelling

among those who hate peace.

I am for peace,

but when I speak, they are for war!

--Psalm 120--